The Corn Cob & Skewer Misadventurz

Let me say furst I am a Lab. And Labs like to eat. This summer Mom and Dad waz having a cookout and when no one was looking I gotten into the garbage - yes, I have been known to do it — and got a corn cob. I did not know at the time that this is a VERY DANJEROUS thing for a dog to do because we cannot digest a corn cob. I will not tell you all the embarazzing details but I needed to go to the vet and they had to operate on me. I nsisted on having round the clock attention during my rekovery and wore an adorable blue soft cone so I wood not be temp-ted to tamper with my stitchez. Mom kept telling me never to do anything like that again. And I promised I woodn’t. Until…. Mom and Dad was having a birfday partie for Grandpa and Grandma and had some othur people mayke the food and bring it to the house. It looked yummy. Everyone had a good time and no one fed people food to the littul dog. BUT the next day Mom was having some leftoverz (dogz NEVER have leftoverz by the way) and she went to put some food back into the container and she dropped a four inch bamboooo skewer that had three big pieces of sausage and potato on it - right in front of me. I thought quickly - what should I do???? Well. I grabbed it as soon as it hit the ground as Mom was screaming NOOOOO!!! (Remember, I AM a Lab!) It went down in one gulp. Well I had to go back to the vet and they sayd the skewer would break down and come out on its own and Mom and Dad and Ant Barb were in charge of watching for it. You can use your own imagination as to what thiz meens. Well it did not appear for a week but all of a sudden I felt reel bad on — of all dayz — HALLOWEEN!! Mom and Dad and Ant Barb drug me round to two emergency vetz (THAT was all TRICK and NO TREAT!) and asked them to do another operashun. Mom waz mad when they sed “jus watch her” and Mom sed “Watch her what? This dog is in pain and needs help!” After the HALLOWWEN weekend I missed, I went back to my original doktur on Monday morning and he sed “Thiz dog needs an operashun NOW!” So again, they operated on me and the doktur found the skewer — he sed it went thru my intestins and was “lodged in my livur” — WHAT?? Did it think my livur was a HOTEL???? My doktur sayd if it had gone on for another day I might be in doggie hevun with my older sister Bailey! When Unkel Tonee found out later what happened he was mad at the dokturs and he tole Mom that a bamboooo skewer will NOT break down in anyone’s body and he was right!!! He may sekretly be Doktur Unkel Tonee. (PS the doktur gave us the skewer after the operashun and it looks just the same as when I swallowed it - xcept for no sausage and potato….) So to all dog friendz — doant eat corn cobs! Doant eat skewerz! And to all vets - bamboooo skewerz don’t break down unless you r a PANDA BEAR!! They just move around, poke and hurt you, punktur your innards and can kill you if they are not removed! Buy the way, I herd Mom and Dad say that EACH operashun kost twice as much as they paid the breeder for me (I AM A PURE BRED YOU KNOW) but lucky for me, my Mom and Dad love me and sed money waz not the issue — jus fix ther littul girl. Lucky for Mom and Dad - they haf pet insurance!