Pound for Pound

Mom

I feel terrible. You might recall that Unkle Tonee was sum kinda Litter-It-Chair major in kollege. Now I wazunt snooping (jez one look at me and ennie one kin see I aint no Snoop Dog), but you know how loud Unkle Tonee talks on that Blueberry Fone of his!

Well, he's sayin sumpin about a wryter kalled T.S. Elliot, sayz this guy in partikular was responzible for landing some epic Waste (doant axe me to elaboorate, I'm trying my best not to piktur it!). But then Unkle Tonee gets all upset, saying Mr. Elliot wont be remembered for that (which sounds like a good thing to me). Wont even be remembered for some kidz book about Possums and Cats (and here let it be clear that my suggestion woulda been a book feeturing Pooches, but ole T.S. never axed yours truly). No, if he's remembered at all, it will be becauze some “genius” (pay attenshun to the quotes) turned his cats book into a muzicol staring peeps, all them dancing about and contorting this way and that, lookin like a tangled mess of felines koffing up hairballs (okay, I might of added that hairball bit).

Unkle Tonee rants on about this editor guy called Ezra Pound, who werked and re-werked all Mr. Elliot's scribbles. Seems now he will be forgotten too!

Anyways, none of thatz the point. Here's the point:

You know sometimes Miz Kallie sports that dumb look, like she kant see or hear nothin, but really she's listening? Well she musta been doing some super snooping about T.S. Elliot and his Ezra Pound, cauze she just up and took on the responzibility of proof-reading my blog drafts! Stacks of them! And now look how I found her:

I doant know if she is konshush or not, or drooooling on my papurz, but them eyeglasses are toast for sure, all krooked and such. Mom, I’m worried that I might have liabilitiez for her condition! But I doant think so, seeing how she waz acting as my editor without permizzions. I never axed for no editor, and CERTAINLY NEVER axed for no Ezra Pound (no canine in her right mind woud EVER ax for anything with the werd “Pound” in it, you kin bet your life on that!)!

So here's my suhjestyun: next time Miz Kallie wants to play Ezra Pound, mebe you could send her to the Pound (and seeing how Unkle Tonne has gone off the deep end too, mebbe send him for good meashur)!! Just sayin…